Ways To Annoy People at The movies

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effect are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
Get 3 people together and act like you are Crow, Tom Servo, and Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Before the movie starts, stand up, and imitate the Truth commercial saying, "The makers of this film couldn't find any way to make their characters rebellious, rockin`, or cool so instead, they'll just smoke."
When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"
Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking.
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.
Bring a flashlight and shine it on the walls or ceiling, in advance draw an outline o#*@!uy screwing a chick (or perhaps another guy), then cut
out the outline and put it in front of the flashlight, so the image can be seen on the wall or ceiling.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Smuggle in cans of roaches, locusts, ants, and other bugs that can annoy and reproduce quickly. You may even bring in some rats. Then sit in the very back, open the jars, and toss the bugs out on the ground. Since the floor is more slanted in the back the bugs will spread
throughout the theater faster. Be sure to be the first one to raise and scream "There’s a #*@!roach crawling up my leg!" Then run out into the
lobby and start yelling "there’s #*@!roaches in here!" Or "This theater is contaminated!" The theater will have to close down and fumigate the
showroom(s), and after this little "accident" no one will want to go back to the theater anyway!
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

Ways To Annoy People!!!!

Act like a dog, growl at people.
Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
Ask everyone what they made for their side dish.
Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over.
Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Blow spit balls at the ceiling.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
Blow your nose on your sleeve.
Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
Bring a chair along.
Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong).
Burp, and then say “mmmm...tasty!”
Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
Clutch your stomach and gasp.
Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
Collect an elevator tax.
Count down from 100,000 out loud.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball!
Dress as a clergy member of the opposite sex.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Eat jello through a straw.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour.
Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Go into extreme detail explaining how you were trapped in an elevator once for two days.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, then ignore them.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attept to cross you.
Have a picnic in the elevator.
Have a seizure.
Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
Hug yourself.
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
Hum the theme to Jeopardy
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
If anyone brushes against you, whisper to them "was it good for you too?"
Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa The great chief and begin telling stories of your native island.
Jump up when the elevator reaches a stop.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
Lean against the button panel.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
Leave a box between the doors.
Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Make farm noises.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Make sure the emergency phone is working.
Meow occasionally.
Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Mumble autistically about the possibilities of elevator accidents.
Offer a bite of your fresh tangerine to everyone coming on board.
Offer hitman services.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
Open a lemonade stand.
Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again.
Pick your nose.
Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) on the inside of the doors.
Play dead.
Play patty--cake with the door.
Play the harmonica.
Pour water on the front of your trousers, so it looks like you have wet yourself, tell everyone who comes in to the elevator, that you had a little accident.
Pray to Budda.
Preach about the end of the world.
Pretend to be dead and lie on the elevator floor.
Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Read a book upside down.
Recite poetry in monotone.
Request for people to watch you Riverdance.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
Scratch yourself.
Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Shadow box.
Shave.
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
Sing: "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes like this!" to the tune of "camp town lady".....pause.....repeat....continually.
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce “I’ve got new socks on!”
Start a sing-along.
Start reciting "Green Eggs and Ham" and ask people what comes next.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
Tap dance.
Tell everyone about the hidden rooftop penthouse belonging to the mob.
Tell everyone about your love life.
Tell people you can see their aura.
Tell the passengers not to worry. The bomb won't go off for at least another two minutes.
Throw a party in the vator!
Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you.
Untie one shoe, then tie the other. Repeat.
Walk in circles. Change directions when you hit a passenger.
Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Wear a basketball jersey. Show everyone your armpit. Works best if you get a good workout and don't use deodorant.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Wear a Santa suit...in June.
Wear a ski mask and carry an axe.
Wear complete SCUBA gear, then offer your buddy hose to the other passengers
When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now... motion sickness!”
When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they’ll open again.”
When the doors close pretend you arm got caught in it.
When the doors open, pretend you did it with your mind.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
When the elevator reaches another passenger’s floor, scream and collapse in front of the door.
When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “hide it...quick!” then whistle innocently.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.

"My Christmas List"

Santa is coming tonight
And I want a car, and I want a life
And I want a first class trip to Hawaii
I want a lifetime supply
Of skittles & slurpees and Eskimo pies
I want a DVD,
A big screen TV
Just bring me things that I don't need

[CHORUS:]
'Cuz now it's Christmas
And I want everything
I just can't wait
Christmas
So don't stop spending
I want a million gifts, that's right
Don't forget my Christmas list tonight
'Cuz now it's Christmas

Somebody take me away
Or give me a time machine
To take me straight to midnight
I'll be alright

I want a girl in my bed
Who knows what to do
A PlayStation 2
I want a shopping spree
In New York City
Just bring me things that I don't need

[CHORUS]

I wish I could take this day
And make it last forever
And no matter what I get tonight
I want more

It's Christmas and I want everything
I just can't wait
It's Christmas and I want everything now

Christmas
And I want everything
I just can't wait
Christmas
So don't stop spending, I
Want a million gifts,
That's right
And I can't wait 'til midnight
Don't forget my Christmas list tonight
'Cuz now it's Christmas

HUSBAND STORE:


A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . ...

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the ! Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!

Remember Greed is one of the seven deadly sins.
You have to learn to be grateful for what you have to get more.
When youare ungrateful you end up with nothing.

It really is all about you!!

It's All About You
"How can I develop my own style...my own sound?" This is the second most frequently asked question I am asked ("How can I become a great guitarist?" is the first). As a very broad generalization, people in the United States tend to focus more on originality, in Europe people tend to focus more on mastery.
Among musicians in general and guitar players specifically, the approach that is commonly taken to being "original" is often crippling, oppressing, unnatural. This is why so many people only seem to struggle and become frustrated. That is because the typical approach to being "original" is in direct conflict with the very meaning of the word "original".
Think about it, the entire process of being original (and having your own style) should be natural, empowering and liberating.
I strongly encourage you to read Originality (When And How) before reading any further.
Going Against the Grain
When you try to "develop" your own style by starting from the point of looking to your instrument, you are going against the grain and thus find it difficult to be original because all of the typical things done on the guitar have already been done by others. So in this case, you would be looking for innovation in a place where it no longer exists in abundance. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that I think you should avoid outside influences. In fact I think outside influence generally is a very good thing. To some this might appear to be a contradiction to what I had just stated, but it's not.
The liberating and more successful path to take is to begin from inside yourself before doing anything. I believe this is to a fundamental principle that will always lead to true originality. Those who say you should not be influenced or listen to other musicians are not seeing the entire picture. In way they are on the right track, the problem is they remain on that track too long. Let me explain...
It's All About YOU
In the beginning of your musical journey to find yourself musically, focus on the fundamental nonmusical parts of yourself. Before reading any further, please get a pen and a sheet or two of paper. (Yes, please do that right now - you will be glad you did.) Ok, now write down the answers to these questions in as much detail as possible. Some of these questions should really make you think.
1. Who are you as a person?
2. What thoughts dominate your mind most of the time?
3. What emotions are inside of you that you want to express in an artistic way?
4. What people have affected you and how have you dealt with those affects? How does it affect who you are now?
5. What events have affected you in profound ways? How might they have helped forged your personality when you were younger (especially in your critical teenage years)? How do these affect who you are now?
6. Why do you wish to express these parts of your personality?
7. Do you want to connect with the listeners of your music or are you only interested in making music just for your own sake?
8. Do you want to make your self-expression vague or obvious to others that hear your music?
9. Is your primary goal to entertain listeners or to express yourself to them?
10. When you are successful at expressing yourself in your original way with your original style, if nobody likes it, will you still like it?
If all you ever did was look inward, get clarity on the answers to the ten questions above, you will be 90% of the way to having your own style. The answers to these questions are the primary origins of expression. Even if you do not want to express yourself and prefer to express other things that have little or nothing to do with you, the primary source of your original style and expression will always originate from within.
Being original means "being who you really are". It does not mean you have to be different from everyone else. There is probably nothing about any of us that is truly original, really. There is no thought in our minds that some person throughout the world in the past fifty thousand years has not already had. There is no emotion you will ever feel that someone, somewhere else has not also felt. So every aspect of who we are as people has been duplicated millions (or billions) of times. Yet we ARE all unique and different. We are different because nobody else in the history of humankind has the same exact combinations of thoughts, emotions and characteristics. My point is, you already are original, unique and different. So you don't need to change anything about yourself in order to have your own style. When you "discover" (notice I did NOT use the word develop!) who you truly are, what you are all about, what you want to become as a person and have absolute clarity about it, you are ready to begin. And now you will develop your own style because you have discovered your true self. The whole musical process will become much easier now because you are working in a natural way...with the grain, not against it...
What to do now
After you have focused on the mental side of originality and have clarity about what you want your style, sound and expression to be all about, you need to acquire more musical knowledge, skills, and application.
Knowledge and Skills
Understanding how music works (music theory) is critical. Yes, not every player with an original style studied formal music theory, but it would be a mistake to assume that these people were totally clueless about how music worked (at least for what they were trying to do.) Even a guy like Kurt Cobain at least understood how certain chords and notes he used would work together. Yes, there was a lot of experimentation and improvisation that went into the creation of Nirvana songs, but too often people (even some Nirvana fans) are misinformed when they think all Kurt's songs were written by complete accidents. Some level of musical understanding was in his mind.
The fastest and most effective way to learn music theory is to take music theory classes or work with a teacher. Be VERY careful of attempting to learn music theory on the internet, there is a LOT of wrong information about theory!
Aural Skills
You MUST master aural skills (ear training)! How can you possibly be effective in creating music when you don't know what all the notes on the guitar sound like in advance? For more information check out my article on this topic.
When you know how music works (music theory) and can hear it working in advance (aural skills), developing your own style becomes even easier. This is because when you hear something you like, you will immediately understand what it is, why it sounds good, how it works and most importantly how you can use it in your OWN WAY! For example, when you hear a very cool melancholy-dissonant-note over an E minor chord and you discover the note is an F#, if you understand that F# is the 9th of an Em chord and if you can hear that 9th sound, you will learn to recognize it every time you hear a 9th played over any minor 9th chord in any key. You will also be able to recall that "very-cool-melancholy-dissonant" note whenever you want to use it in your own playing, improvising and songwriting.
Pay attention to how chords work, how they interact with each other, how chords dictate the function of melodies (this is all music theory stuff). Even if your main goal is to improve your soloing, the function of chords is critical. Before thinking about lead guitar ideas, know what your solo is being player over. This is so important because Harmony (chords) determine the primary emotional quality of melodic notes.
Try this, get your guitar, play your high E string open. Listen to how it sounds, what is the general feel of this note? Sounds basically neutral right? That is because the E note has not been put into any context (there have been no other notes being played before it, at the same time or after it). Now play an open E chord (with the high E string open). Listen to how the E note sounds now. Play an open C chord (again with the high E string open), now you hear the same E note in a new way. Since the chord changed from E major to C major, the function, sound and emotional quality of the E note changed. This is another small example of the importance of using theory and aural skills together. Knowing and hearing such things will greatly add to your ability to have your own sound. Yes, some other people already know and use this information on some level all the time. But it's the way you use it to fit your own personality that emerges your own style (more on this later).
In addition to music theory and aural skills, fret board knowledge, physical technique and analysis are also very important skills.
Application, Application, Application
Beginners and most intermediate players have not yet developed their own style because they don't have enough knowledge and skills, this is to be expected - that is why they are have not reached the advanced levels yet. For those who do reach the advanced levels, many fall short in having their own style.
In order for these players to be on the advanced (in the way most people define it) levels as players, they will already have a good ear, understand how music works generally, know their way around the fret board, and have good physical technique. On the surface, it may appear these players should be capable of having their own sound. We all know that not every advanced player has a really unique style. Yes, some of these people are not interested in being unique or original (and that is perfectly fine), but for those that DO want their own style, there are two main reasons:
The first reason was already stated above in the section beginning with: It's All About YOU....
The second reason is a major deficiency in application skills. The old saying, "Knowledge is Power" is totally false! The truth is: "What you DO with what you know is Power." Knowledge is only "potential power", it is a force multiplier, but not power itself. What you do with what you know is called application and....
Application is the bridge between WHAT YOU KNOW and THE RESULTS THAT KNOWLEDGE CAN GIVE YOU!

Phrasing, Improvising and Songwriting are the main Application skills in music. Many fall short in these areas because they believe their first task is to learn about and then spend years practicing the guitar. With my own students, I generally have them working on application skills right away no matter what skill level they are currently at. It is a mistake to put off application skills until after one learns how to play well. Improvising, songwriting and phrasing need to be learned and practiced just like chords, scales, music theory and everything else. Make room in your practice schedule to include application skills regardless of your current abilities as a musician. If these things are totally new to you, find a great teacher to work with.
Congratulations on making it all the way through this long article!

bInOmIaL tHeOrEm sOmEbOdY

MY MY MY MY MY LETTER TO EMPLOYERS.......

Why Don't You Read The Entire Thing ?

We'll be highly obliged to receive atleast 5 answers from you from these bundles and scores and dozens.....

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures���?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
Why do dogs sniff other dog���s bottoms to say hello, why don���t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?